The Truth

The truth is that people only remember you when they need something from you. I am not so excited when people call me because I am aware of the reason behind. Truly, sometimes I feel tired of people who only remember me when they need help. I am a person who is always willing to give hands to those who need help, but usually people do not realize the things that we do for them are valuable until we stop doing it. Although people said not to expect anything for what you have done for people. Sure, I try not to expect anything, but we, human being want a little bit respect and acknowledgement for what we have done. I guess, those particular people do not even know how to give a bit respect to those who help them.

Most of the time those who call me never concern about how the things are going with me. All their concern is “having a favor” or what I can do for them. They usually started the conversion nicely for 30 or 40 seconds for small talk. Then when there is a chance to change the conservation, they suddenly raise a question. “ Can I ask you a favor?” I understand that people ask help to each other if they are in need. Sometimes, I feel like I cannot handle these kind of people who never know me before and suddenly they regard me as their relatives or best friends for fulfilling their needs. They just call me when they want to utilize me and I am always used. I am tired. I am really tired of it sometimes. I want my space and I want to say “NO”, but why cannot I say “NO”? Sometimes, I want to be away from this society where is filled up with egoists. I am better off to be alone rather than being with those who remember me when they are in need. I am please to help people most of the time, but not all the time.

    Although I do stay “ Visible”, I am always invisible to people. If everything happens for a reason, there will be a reason behind. Maybe because I have done nothing for them. Maybe I demand too much from people that make people go away.  I have never expected to get back everything that I have given , but at least I want to get back a small thing or a bit respect from them by without asking. All I need is a little bit respect that everyone deserves to be respected.

A Friend

 

 I wish you will always be my friend.  You may have no idea how much I want you to talk to me like before. You know I want to share everything with you. I want you to listen  while I am talking. I miss the time you make funny things out of my talking. I got angry when you act like that. The more I feel angry, the more you laugh at me. I know we are meant to be friends forever, but  why you refuse to be with me. A friend like you mean everything to me. You many not understand the way i feel , but I wish you get the common sense. I was afraid to loose you, but it was beyond my reach. I wish I could save you as my friend forever. You may not know how much my tears are grounded for being apart from you. How much I feel upset about not being your friend anymore.  I totally got mad and sad while I am not with you. I try not to and just let it goes, but it is not that easy as I though. It just happens. The truth is I always want to be your friend now and forever because I always want to wear smile on my faces. You are the one who can make me smile while I am feeling down. I want to share funny things with you. I want to share the things that I cannot tell to others. I want you to be my special friend forever.  I know things cannot be fix but at least we can try it again. Why we can’t be together again even as friends.  Why can’t we be? I wish we would be together again and laugh harder. I still hear your voice when you laugh. I still remember that we never fail to laugh when we were together. Wearing a smile on our face is our first priority.  I still hear your voice when you call my name and laugh at the same time.  Keep in mind that you are one and only friend in my life. No matter what, trust me, you will never be replaced.

A Makeup Story

I am making up a story which no one can understand but you. I know it is hard to understand until you reach to the end. I am not guarantee that you will fully comprehend it even through you get to the end. As I am a writer of my own story, I will turn everything into as I wish to. How I will start and end my story is totally depending on me. Due to out of your control, I may let you think with unreasonable questions or I may let you cry with the ending is also unpredictable. You are allowed to take your own choice. Which part you will take is depending on your desire. I don’t really care whether you will appreciate it or not. What I care about is the space to express my feeling through this story.

I am talking this from the bottom of my heart where no one is allowed to enter or hear but you. It is questionable whether you can read my heard or not, but my expectation from you is all about endeavoring to appreciate this complicate thing. I may forgive you if you do not understand it, but I will never forgive you if you do not put your effort for just once. I know things are much more completed than that we expected as well as things are hard to accept sometimes.  It is still okay and I do not mind if you cannot understand it. I do not expect much because things are always complicated than I thought. If everything happens as I have imagined, the world will be much more beautiful than in reality.

All in all, I am certain that you are a main character of this story. Again I am not sure whether your character will be in satisfied place for you or not. The certain thing is I will illustrate your actual character in my story. Don’t ask me not to mention or state in my story about you. I promise that I will not mention the exaggerate things about you. I will just show the real you and the way you treat me. I do not mind you leave me alone, but what I do mind is your honesty upon me. You are the only one who I care and I trust. I have never thought you will treat me the way that you have done. There is nothing hurt more than single person like you who I never thought will hurt me. I wish you could understand the feeling of being left alone in this darkness. You will never have any ideas how hurt to be left by the deeply trusted person in your life. Yeah…I accept that now it is my turn. Keep in mind the meaning of “what goes around, comes around.”