You

You
Always Beautiful

Wednesday 17 December 2014

Being Left!



No longer to be afraid of being left.
Coz I had experienced that.

Nothing hurts more than being loneliness
Coz I've gone through that.

No expectation is keeping for myself.
Coz I knew it hurts more than anything else.

No worry for letting me alone in this darkness.
Just keep yourself for not regretting that.

Choices


I know you like options
You are given two options

One...

Choose not to choose me

Two...

Choose to choose me...

You are free to pick up one of these

Afterward don't blame for it!


12/17/2014
Wednesday

You Gonna Miss Me




When the time you hold somebody in your arms is not me,
You gonna miss me.

When the time you are no longer allowed to kiss me,
Then you gonna miss me.

When the time you are not understood by somebody as I do,
You gonna miss me.

When the time you are not comforted by somebody as I do,
You gonna miss me.

When the time you are not priority by somebody as I do,
You gonna miss me.

When the time you are not loved by somebody as I do,
You totally gonna regret for loosing me.

12/17/2014

Wednesday


Friday 2 May 2014

Love Never Dies



Love never dies. It just keeps changing based on the way you are treated. People may define “Love” differently according to the way they are treated. We might not notice that how many people are suffering by keeping real emotion all the time. When you love someone, there is no reason to explain “Why”.  Love is Love. If you can handle it well, it is helpful for you to heal all the emotional wounds of past and give pressure for the present.  There is no measurement to love somebody.  Age, high, rich, poor, educated, and uneducated is just a measurement between two people, but they become important factors to be together.
Due to the social restriction, we act based on our society’s perception. We are told to do whatever the society said. We have to accept everything that society ruled. We are socially constructed with various limitations of human being. In order to maintain healthy society, people have to act against their wills most of the time. They always have to hide their real emotion due to the unreasonable and unquestionable social rules. What would happen if we are not socially constructed and act according to our emotion? Yeah, all the rules are manmade, but we cannot ignore them because without those rules, people may be difficult to control their ethical and morality. Additionally, there may be unlimited crimes for our society. Ethical and moral are very important part of individual.    
Some unexpected events may destroy your ethical and moral at unexpected time. As we are human being, we may have difficulties to control our emotion sometimes. We may be distracted the manmade social rules by uncontrollable emotion. It is okay as long as we can manage the social rules and our emotion in balance. People may experience inexpressible feeling at some circumstance.  As for me, May 1st is unforgettable and wonderful day of my life. There is no reason to forget the event because it brings me happiness and joyous. I can say it is a warmest and happiest moment in my life. I cannot express my feeling, but what I notice is that the feeling of happiness and frightens. I learn that sometimes you do not need to wait for miracle to bring a person whom you love. You just need to try to be with a person who loves you well and accept their love and forget about the past. You may feel warm and secure when you are being with that person. I know everything is not fair and disgusting in our life sometimes, but be patient and kind to everyone. Things are too late to be changed and hard to accept sometimes, but do not regret it. All you need to do it, just accept it and let it goes. You may fell up and down emotion as waves. It is okay to feel that way.

Keep in mind that I will always be your friend and I will always be there for you. You are the one who leaves me with warm and happy memories. Likewise, you are always there for me when I feel down and hopeless. There is always space for you in my mind. Thanks for everything you have done for me. Thanks for the lovely present and I will use it well. Honestly, this is the first time in my life being with a friend like you. I have never dreamt to have a friend like you. Don’t forget that having a soft mind all the time will not help you in long term. Keep your mind stable, strong, firm and try to be happy in other ways. I know it is hard for you, but I want you be happy all the time. Everyone deserves to be happy. I am happy and enjoy being with you. I am lucky to know you. We can be friend forever. Friend is friend. No more explanation is needed. You are my friend.



Friday 14 February 2014

The Truth

The truth is that people only remember you when they need something from you. I am not so excited when people call me because I am aware of the reason behind. Truly, sometimes I feel tired of people who only remember me when they need help. I am a person who is always willing to give hands to those who need help, but usually people do not realize the things that we do for them are valuable until we stop doing it. Although people said not to expect anything for what you have done for people. Sure, I try not to expect anything, but we, human being want a little bit respect and acknowledgement for what we have done. I guess, those particular people do not even know how to give a bit respect to those who help them.
Most of the time those who call me never concern about how the things are going with me. All their concern is “having a favor” or what I can do for them. They usually started the conversion nicely for 30 or 40 seconds for small talk. Then when there is a chance to change the conservation, they suddenly raise a question. “ Can I ask you a favor?” I understand that people ask help to each other if they are in need. Sometimes, I feel like I cannot handle these kind of people who never know me before and suddenly they regard me as their relatives or best friends for fulfilling their needs. They just call me when they want to utilize me and I am always used. I am tired. I am really tired of it sometimes. I want my space and I want to say “NO”, but why cannot I say “NO”? Sometimes, I want to be away from this society where is filled up with egoists. I am better off to be alone rather than being with those who remember me when they are in need. I am please to help people most of the time, but not all the time.
    Although I do stay “ Visible”, I am always invisible to people. If everything happens for a reason, there will be a reason behind. Maybe because I have done nothing for them. Maybe I demand too much from people that make people go away.  I have never expected to get back everything that I have given , but at least I want to get back a small thing or a bit respect from them by without asking. All I need is a little bit respect that everyone deserves to be respected.

Tuesday 11 February 2014

A Friend


 
 I wish you will always be my friend.  You may have no idea how much I want you to talk to me like before. You know I want to share everything with you. I want you to listen  while I am talking. I miss the time you make funny things out of my talking. I got angry when you act like that. The more I feel angry, the more you laugh at me. I know we are meant to be friends forever, but  why you refuse to be with me. A friend like you mean everything to me. You many not understand the way i feel , but I wish you get the common sense. I was afraid to loose you, but it was beyond my reach. I wish I could save you as my friend forever. You may not know how much my tears are grounded for being apart from you. How much I feel upset about not being your friend anymore.  I totally got mad and sad while I am not with you. I try not to and just let it goes, but it is not that easy as I though. It just happens. The truth is I always want to be your friend now and forever because I always want to wear smile on my faces. You are the one who can make me smile while I am feeling down. I want to share funny things with you. I want to share the things that I cannot tell to others. I want you to be my special friend forever.  I know things cannot be fix but at least we can try it again. Why we can’t be together again even as friends.  Why can’t we be? I wish we would be together again and laugh harder. I still hear your voice when you laugh. I still remember that we never fail to laugh when we were together. Wearing a smile on our face is our first priority.  I still hear your voice when you call my name and laugh at the same time.  Keep in mind that you are one and only friend in my life. No matter what, trust me, you will never be replaced.


Wednesday 5 February 2014

A Makeup Story



I am making up a story which no one can understand but you. I know it is hard to understand until you reach to the end. I am not guarantee that you will fully comprehend it even through you get to the end. As I am a writer of my own story, I will turn everything into as I wish to. How I will start and end my story is totally depending on me. Due to out of your control, I may let you think with unreasonable questions or I may let you cry with the ending is also unpredictable. You are allowed to take your own choice. Which part you will take is depending on your desire. I don’t really care whether you will appreciate it or not. What I care about is the space to express my feeling through this story.
I am talking this from the bottom of my heart where no one is allowed to enter or hear but you. It is questionable whether you can read my heard or not, but my expectation from you is all about endeavoring to appreciate this complicate thing. I may forgive you if you do not understand it, but I will never forgive you if you do not put your effort for just once. I know things are much more completed than that we expected as well as things are hard to accept sometimes.  It is still okay and I do not mind if you cannot understand it. I do not expect much because things are always complicated than I thought. If everything happens as I have imagined, the world will be much more beautiful than in reality.
All in all, I am certain that you are a main character of this story. Again I am not sure whether your character will be in satisfied place for you or not. The certain thing is I will illustrate your actual character in my story. Don’t ask me not to mention or state in my story about you. I promise that I will not mention the exaggerate things about you. I will just show the real you and the way you treat me. I do not mind you leave me alone, but what I do mind is your honesty upon me. You are the only one who I care and I trust. I have never thought you will treat me the way that you have done. There is nothing hurt more than single person like you who I never thought will hurt me. I wish you could understand the feeling of being left alone in this darkness. You will never have any ideas how hurt to be left by the deeply trusted person in your life. Yeah…I accept that now it is my turn. Keep in mind the meaning of “what goes around, comes around.”


Friday 3 January 2014

You


You make me smile,
And you make me cry.

You make me laugh,
And you break my heart,
But I’m still believing in your words.

You make me high,
So I feel pride.

You make me happy,
So I feel healthy.

Finally you leave me lonely.