I do not really care who around
you when you are away from me because I absolutely believe in “A Real Man
Cannot be stolen”. Everyone gets a
little jealous regarding to their loved ones and I see it as normal. I
feel worry and get jealous when you are talking with other girls, meanwhile I
understand that is your right. For me, a man does not need to be a gentleman to
every woman but for his special one. I trust and believe in you, but please do
not take advantage from that and make me disappointed. While I am with you, I
would love you with all my heart and give all my time. However, I will not beg
you to stay if you are not happy. If other women tread you well-off more than I
do, please leave me with sound reasons. I would absolutely understand on you
as I always want to see your smile. There is no such a thing I can offer
you, but happiness and time. IF you do not feel happy while you are around me,
you better be off.
If you’ve ever loved me, I
would like to say thanks. Thanks for loving me and I know it takes a lot for
someone to truly love another person these days. I am happy you decided that I was worth
loving. I would like you to know that
your love isn’t lost on me. I take every bit of affection you give me and
conserve it so I could have something to carry me through the periods of
lovelessness and loneliness. I need your love by my side at all times so I
would never forget. I am sitting here,
closing my eyes and trying to remember what it felt like to be loved by you. I
am trying to remember all of the times I have been held and kissed by you when you are away.
I used to see the world
through a broken lens and everyone becomes a threat, including myself. I
trapped in my thoughts, very dark thoughts. I felt like drowning and I did not
know what it is like to being myself anymore. A tear fell down even I did not
put effort to cry and it was just out of my control. There is no off switch
that I can see to the light back. I only saw the darkness. The world can never
know; the world will never understand so I hide the darkness with a bright
smile and I went on with my day. I just was not sure if anyone would ever see me for who I was. I did not know if
anyone would take the time and effort to truly see me. So when YOU
proved me wrong and started to love me, I was overwhelmed with emotion.
Maybe the purpose of pain is for us to grow
and for us to connect deeply with each other.
For the first time, you make me appreciate my pain and my story. You
make me believe that these were all meant to happen for a reason. Maybe I had
to go through all that pain so I could understand yours. I could feel every
emotion you are not expressing, listen to every word you are not saying, know
exactly what kind of thoughts are in your head. By looking deeper into your
eyes and see everything that you are trying to hide. Please just make me feel safe and
sound while you are around. All I want is to make you realize that everything
you ever needed is me while you are in a loveless moment.
06/02/2018
Tuesday
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